Slaughter Demon: Difference between revisions

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m (if you're in the demon section, you're not a human!)
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*SATAN
*SATAN
*DEVILS
*DEVILS
*DEMON KING, BUBBLEGUM
*DEMON KING, [[Megafauna#Bubblegum|BUBBLEGUM]]
*DEMONS
*DEMONS
*IMPS
*IMPS

Revision as of 09:01, 2 September 2017

INFERNAL STAFF

Demon
Access: WHERE EVER BLOOD IS ON THE FLOOR.
Additional Access: WHERE EVER MERE MORTALS MAY COWER!
Difficulty: EASY!
Supervisors: FRAIL, SOULFLINGING DEVILS!!
Duties: KILL EVERYTHING!
Guides: THIS IS THE GUIDE, STUPID MEATBAG!
Quote: The blood begins to bubble...


 
Slaugh T. Deeman, Infernal Employee of the Month says:
"YOU WANT TO LEARN ABOUT SLAUGHTER DEMONS? I'LL TELL YOU THINGS THAT WOULD MAKE THE CODEX GIGAS LOOK LIKE THE BIBLE!!"

DADDY'S HOME

I AM HERE! I HAVE TWO OBJECTIVES, SO LISTEN CLOSELY HUMANS!

  • ONE, KILL WHOEVER SUMMONED ME
  • AND TWO, KILL EVERYONE ELSE! RUN, PUNY MORTALS!

WAHHH I'M A DEMON AND I'M KILLING ALL THESE HUMANS WITHOUT A SECOND THOUGHT WHAT DO I DO

WHAT A TIME TO BE ALIVE! JUST SIT BACK AND ENJOY THE KILLING BECAUSE NOBODY ELSE WILL. HERE'S A COUPLE THINGS TO KEEP IN MIND THOUGH, DEMON TO DEMON.

HIERARCHY

IT GOES LIKE THIS

  • SATAN
  • DEVILS
  • DEMON KING, BUBBLEGUM
  • DEMONS
  • IMPS
  • STUPID GOOBALLS WE CALL HUMANS

MY FELLOW DEMONS, PLEASE DO NOT KILL DEVILS BECAUSE SATAN WILL SMITE YOU REAL FAST AS SOON AS THE DEVIL SNITCHES ON YOU IN THE UNDERWORLD

BLOOD JAUNTING

SPREADING BLOOD ALL THROUGH THE HALLWAYS (DRAGGING A CORPSE WHILE SLASHING IT) WILL HELP YOU IN THE LONG RUN, TRUST ME. HAVING THE ABILITY TO TELEPORT ANYWHERE PROVES TO BE PRETTY USEFUL.

CORPSE FEEDING

NO SHAME ON TAKING A BITE ONCE YOU DRAG THEM TO HELL, MY FRIEND. IT'S YOUR ONLY WAY OF HEALING, SHORT OF A HUMAN PATCHING YOU UP. NOT ONLY IS A HUMAN GIVING YOU MEDICAL HELP A DISGRACE TO ALL DEMONKIND, BUT IF YOU EVEN ADMIT THAT YOU'RE CLOSE TO DYING THEY'LL PROBABLY JUST KILL YOU ANYWAY, YOU STUPID IDIOT DEMON.

JAUNT KILLING

WE ARE SLOW, OKAY? IT TURNS OUT HAVING A SUIT OF INFERNAL ARMOR GLUED TO US IS PRETTY HEAVY. LUCKILY, YOU CAN GET SOME PRETTY EASY KILLS JUMPING OUT OF BLOOD AS THE BLOOD WILL GIVE YOU A SPEED BOOST. FANTASTIC COMBO, JUMP OUT OF BLOOD, ATTACK, TRY TO GET IN A FEW, AND THEN RETREAT TO THE BLOOD FOR ANOTHER SPEED ATTACK. REALLY THE ONLY WAY YOU'RE REALISTICALLY GOING TO STOP A SHOTGUNFAG, SO PRACTICE MAKES PERFECT

WAHHH DEMONS ARE KILLING MY FRIENDS AND I'M ONLY A STUPID HUMAN WHAT DO I DO

GEE, I DON'T KNOW HUMAN, MAYBE SPACING YOURSELF WOULD WORK? OR MAYBE PRE-EMPTIVELY SPREADING YOUR BLOOD ALL DOWN THE HALLWAYS SO I DON'T HAVE TO FOR YOU WOULD BE GREAT AT STOPPING DEMONS, YES!

DEMONS LOVE BLOOD

I NEED BLOOD TO JAUNT AROUND THE STATION AND KEEP MY KILL TO NOT KILLING RATIO EXTREMELY HIGH. DON'T REMOVE MY BLOOD, I MEAN IT. THAT WOULD INCUR MY IRE AND THEN I'D HAVE TO KILL SOMEONE ELSE TO GET MORE BLOOD.

DEMONS LOVE EATING CORPSES

WHOEVER THAT RIVER STYX GUY IS, HE'S A REAL DAMN CHEAT BECAUSE I CAN TAKE YOU RIGHT TO HELL WITH NO FEE. DRAGGING A DEAD HUMAN (THE LIVE ONES DON'T USUALLY WANT TO GO!) RIGHT TO THE UNDERWORLD IS MY BREAD AND BUTTER! AND I LITERALLY MEAN THAT BECAUSE I THEN FEAST ON THEIR CORPSE AND HEAL RIGHT BACK UP!

DEMONS HATE SHOTGUNS

IF SILVER BULLETS KILLED WEREWOLVES (THEY DON'T, STOP TRYING) THEN SHOTGUNS WOULD BE THE SILVER BULLET EQUIVALENT OF SLAUGHTER DEMONS. DEMONS, STAY AWAY FROM THEM, YOU WILL GET BLASTED BACK TO TARTARUS.

DEMONS HATE LAUGHTER DEMONS

I MEAN ATTACKING THEM WOULD BE SOME PRETTY HIGH LEVELS OF DEMONIC HERESY BUT MY GOD PLEASE INSULT THEM FOR THEIR PRIMAL STUPIDITY. EVEN YOU, HUMANS! THEY DON'T EVEN KILL HUMANS, JUST TAKE THEM TO THEIR HUGBOX DIMENTION! I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT THAT IS AND IT'S REALLY UNSETTLING AND THIS CONVERSATION IS OVER!!

RELEVANT CODE CHANGES

I'LL GET BACK TO YOU ON THIS ONE, VERY BUSY WITH KILLING PEOPLE AT THE MOMENT.



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