Ian

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Revision as of 01:53, 7 March 2015 by imported>Bandit
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SPECIAL STAFF

Ian
Access: None
Additional Access: N/A
Difficulty: Impossible
Supervisors: Head of Personnel
Duties: Being immune to theobromine, being a liability, playing dress-up, dancing as a spaz would
Guides: Chain of Command


Woof woof. Ruff, arf, au au. Yip, bow-wow. Bark.

KILLING PRIVATE IAN

Killing Ian is just as wise as welding a welding fuel tank, it's going to blow up in your face. This puts you under the mercy of the entire station, being that Ian is the station's beloved pet. As fun as it sounds to drag the little guy into a washing machine and parade around the station eating the meat, DO NOT DO IT IF YOU VALUE YOUR LIFE!

EVERYTHING IAN CAN WEAR

  • Head:
    • Regular Helmet
    • Sunglasses
    • Captain's Hat (the one he spawns with)
    • Top Hat
    • Kitty Ears
    • Sheriff Hat (may not exist ingame, it's in the icons)
    • Detective's Hat
    • Sombrero
    • Nurse Hat
    • Beret
    • Pirate Hat (the one that looks like a pirate captain)
    • Wizard Hats (fake or real, they both look the same.)
    • Santa Hat (Yap, Yap, Yap!)
    • Bunny Ears
    • Ushanka (with the flaps up or down, doesn't matter.)
    • Chef's Hat. (Bone appetite!)
    • Hard Hats (The white CE's, or the regular yellow engineer's.)
    • Bedsheet (2spooky4me)
    • Police Helmet (The warden's hat?.)
    • A sheet of paper
    • Cargo baseball cap.
    • Cardborg Helmet
    • A special reindeer hardhat, most likely admin spawnable only.
  • Back:
    • Standard Armor
    • Station bound radio
    • Blue oxygen Tank (The big ones)
    • Fire Extinguisher
    • Cardborg Suit (Yip. Yip.)

Lisa

It is Cargo's duty to get Ian laid. If cargo gets the corgi named Lisa, STEAL THAT DOG. It will mate with Ian, producing the cutest thing ever. The Corgi Puppy. This puppy will then be stolen by the chef.


Jobs on /tg/station

Law and Order: Alpha Dog, Master, Bigger Dog, Smells like Whiskey, Pee On, Butt Sniffer , Paper Dog


Maintenance and Supply: Poly's Keeper, Yellow Dog, Smells Strange, Bag of Treets keeper, Corgi Orderer, Corgi Pusher, Smells like "Plants", Outside Dog


Medical and Science: Grrrrr, Smells like cat, Smells like Bad, Smells like death, Smells like makefeelgood, Smells like everything, Maker of loud buzzy things, Trouble


Civil Duty Jobs: Threat, Bark at constantly, Tastes like whiskey, Barking, Keeper of the foods, Smells funny, Smells blank, Submissive Dog


Nonhuman Class: Loudvoicefromwall, Loud buzzy thing, Metal bug, Loudvoicefromsmallbox, Is that a Ghost Shaggy?, G-g-g-GHOST!


Enemy Agents: Bad Dogs, Every Dog, Spiney Dogs, Magic Dog


Special Jobs: Anyone else smell that?, Bigger Alpha Dogs, Best Dog