Guide to telescience
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Welcome to Telescience, the room where you teleport things/people/bombs you aren't supposed to have into places said things/people/bombs aren't supposed to be, or use it for legitimate purposes.
Tha' Hell is This New Fangled Telescience Stuff That Runs on That Electricial-Tricity?
Telescience is a single room at the south end of the Research department hallway.
This area focuses on teleportation, both sending and receiving. It is equipped with a Telepad, a secure room to teleport people and things in and out of, and several handheld GPS readers.
Telescience is imprecise, but potentially extremely useful. Try teleporting GPSs to see where they go, and then from there you can move objects or people back and forth from your lab. Like all science rooms, experimentation is key!
Holy Shit, I Will be the Ruler of Space and Time!
A word of warning. Telescience requires math. Of course, as a scientist, you have a good understanding of mathematical knowledge and projectile trajectory, right?
How to Rip a Hole in the Fabric of Space and Time Itself to Perform Useful Duties
Grab 2 handheld GPS tools. Put one on your belt and one on the telepad. Now, choose a Telepad Control Console you want to use (most likely this will be the one in the Telescience Lab) and click "Recalibrate". Now, you want to set the X and Y co-ordinates to 100 and 100 each. Now send that sucker! Every time the teleporter is recalibrated, the difference changes. This is the variable that determines how badly your teleporter is calibrated and how you can fuck about with maths to make it pin-point accurate! Open up your own personal GPS and take a look at where your test GPS landed.
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You'll notice it didn't quite land at 100 100, did it? This is because of the slight inaccuracies of the teleporter. However! Using the test GPS you just sent, you can calculate the difference, like so! All you have to do is subtract the console co-ordinates (100 100) from the test number. Whatever comes out is your difference. Here's an example:
- Test GPS Location: 93, 102
- 100 - 93 = +7
- 100 - 102 = -2
- Difference = +7, -2
Now, to overcome the inaccuracy of the teleporter, all you have to do is apply this difference to your desired co-ordinates. For example, if I wanted to get to 95 150, and I had a difference of +7 -2, I would set the console to send me to 102 148! This will in fact send me directly to my desired location, 95 150, as we have now accommodated for the inaccuracies!I DON'T KNOW WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT
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Seems simple, right? Well, sadly, every 30 or 40 teleportations (roughly) the Telepad will fizzle. This means you need to start again from step one. Click recalibrate and find the difference, because that sucker just did the old switcharoo on you. Now it's miscalibrated and attempting to send anything through it would be an error of judgement at best! Usually this doesn't affect you, but it can happen at the worst of times, like when you need to recover the bomb, or bring back a teleported space explorer! Learn to recalibrate quickly, or you may end up in a heap of trouble.
Leave handy beacons around the ship, and GPS units at interesting locations in space, and you can easily find them again. It's worth putting something down in the Medbay so you can quickly send the wounded and the dead there.
Challenges for the Robust in All of Us
- Be useful and teleport dead bodies to Genetics for cloning, or injured crew straight to Medbay for treatment!
- Teleport an Engineering Cyborg straight to a hull breach!
- Borrow all the Chef's donuts!
- Teleport the last remaining revhead into the Brig for implanting!
- Find the remaining Bananium ore and construct a H.O.N.K. mech for the Clown!
- Teleport the Nuclear Device around during a Nuclear Operatives -round! Bonus points if it's right after they stick in DAT FUKKEN DISK and before they input the code! Double bonus points for teleporting it to the derelict!
- Teleport a bomb onto a malfunctioning AI's core!
- Teleport the WGW reader into LORD SINGULOTH!