Magical Relics

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The revision reason is: "Abandoned since... July 2020, really. The recent November 2021 edit just added the Cursed Russian Revolver."



This is a WIP list of all the magical artefacts that can be found or spawned by admins. The list will eventually be alphabetized and include images. This list does not include anything that is spawned by the wizard or other antagonists, as those can be found on their related articles. Please feel free to add any information relevant to this article.


Item Examine text Description
Die of Fate "A die with twenty sides.

You can feel unearthly

energies radiating from it.

Using this might be VERY risky."

A D20 that can be rolled in hand by clicking on it, or can be thrown. here is a list of possible results:
  • Roll of a 1: You get dusted. And so do your items.
  • Roll of 2: Instant death.
  • Roll of 3: A swarm of hostile creatures spawns around you.
  • Roll of 4: Destroys all your items.
  • Roll of 5: You return to monkey.
  • Roll of 6: Your walkspeed gets lowered.
  • Roll of 7: You get thrown in a random direction, stunning you and giving you some brute damage.
  • Roll of 8: You explode with the force of a weldertank, but do not get gibbed.
  • Roll of 9: Gives you the cold virus.
  • Roll of 10: Nothing happens!
  • Roll of 11: You get a cookie! Woo?
  • Roll of 12: You get completely healed of all damage and ailments.
  • Roll of 13: A large sum of money spawns around you.
  • Roll of 14: You recieve a unica! Don't let security see this one.
  • Roll of 15: You recieve a random, single use spellbook.
  • Roll of 16: A random ghost gets picked to become a servant with the sole objective to listem to your orders. You even get a spell to teleport them to you at any time!
  • Roll of 17: A box spawns, full of random syndicate items.
  • Roll of 18: You recieve a Captain ID!
  • Roll of 19: A slight, innate armor boost is applied to you.
  • Roll of 20: You become a full-blown wizard, antagonist status and objectives included!
Cursed Die of Fate "A die with twenty sides.

You feel that rolling this is a

REALLY bad idea."

A weighted Dice of Fates that lands on a 1 almost every time its rolled.
Wish Granter "You're not so sure

about this, anymore..."

A large machine that, when used, gives you Hulk, X-ray vision, Space Adapt and Telekinesis.
Cursed Russian revolver "To play with this revolver

requires wagering your very soul."

Works like a normal Russian roulette revolver but instead of doing damage/killing you it dusts you if it shoots you, turning you into a soulstone.
Golden Revolver "This ain't no game,

ain't never been no show,

And I'll gladly gun down the

oldest lady you know.

Uses .357 ammo."

A 6 shot revolver which shoots .357 rounds that when shot a) shakes your screen A LOT and b) does tons of damage to whoever gets shot
Staff of the Honkmother "Honk." The staff shoots off banana projectiles that pass through windows and slips / stuns people for a while. DO NOT GIVE TO THE CLOWN

IF YOU DONT WANT A HEADACHE immediately hand it to the Clown for scientific purposes. HONK!!